The Surprising Secret to Likeability: It's Not What You Think

The Secret to Likeability: It's Not About You, It's About Them London, GB – June 15, 2025 – A recent video clip from the Diary of a CEO podcast features body language expert Vanessa Van Edwards discussing a surprising approach to becoming more likeable. Instead of focusing on self-improvement to please others, Edwards emphasizes the importance of proactively liking others. This counter-intuitive strategy is supported by research from Dr. Van Sloan's study of high school students. Edwards explains, "If you set out to like more people, you become more likeable." The study found that the most popular kids were those who had the longest lists of people they liked. This finding underscores the significance of initiating positive interactions and building genuine connections. Edwards shares a personal anecdote, illustrating how her own perception of others' negativity stemmed from her own lack of outward positivity. This highlights the reciprocal nature of likeability: by extending positive energy, we often receive it in return. Dr. Sloan's research provides a scientific basis for this approach. The study involved ranking students across various schools based on perceived likeability and then examining their social interactions. The results clearly indicated that the most popular students were those who actively engaged in positive interactions with a wide range of peers. Edwards's advice is both insightful and practical. It offers a simple yet effective way to improve social skills and build stronger relationships. By shifting the focus from self-perception to outward connection, individuals can create a positive feedback loop, leading to increased likeability and improved social dynamics.