The Mary Sue
‘The waiter saved you from yourself’: California woman sneaks away to pay for d…
A woman tries to generously pay for the fourth date with a man by sneaking up to the server. However, the server refuses her card.
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Waiter Refuses Woman's Payment on Date, Igniting Social Media Debate
A recent TikTok video by user @bbgrltyson has ignited a widespread discussion across social media platforms regarding modern dating etiquette, specifically the contentious issue of who pays for dinner. The video, uploaded on September 21, 2025, features the user recounting a personal experience during a recent date.According to the user, after several dates where her male companion consistently paid, she attempted to discreetly settle the bill herself as a gesture of reciprocity. However, she was met with an unexpected refusal from the restaurant's waiter, who reportedly stated, "You may not. It's for him." This incident left the TikTok creator pondering societal norms and the perceived "right" way to handle dating expenses.The video highlights a common dilemma faced in contemporary dating, where evolving gender roles intersect with traditional expectations. The creator expressed her internal conflict, noting her support for feminist principles while simultaneously struggling with the ingrained feeling that she "has to like pay or like split or go halvesies because it's the right thing to do." She questioned why it's often considered inappropriate for a woman to pay, ultimately concluding with a sarcastic "Thanks for holding the standard" directed at the waiter.The viral clip has resonated with many, prompting diverse reactions and fueling conversations about chivalry, independence, and the unspoken rules that continue to shape romantic interactions in the 21st century.
